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#1 2009-08-23 20:54:34
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Because cleaning out Bobo's office will no doubt be a disgusting and arduous chore for his landlord, let's help him out by suggesting items he will need to clean out the former Rag HQ and get it ready for re-rental.
FIRST ITEM: GAS MASK
Bobo's landlord is definitely going to need an industrial grade gas mask. He'll want to put this on before entering the structure, because the odor of Ragman stench will no doubt be overpowering, and has probably settled deep into the walls and carpet over the years.
For the record, the odor of "Ragman stench" is a smell that is a mixture of failure, desperation, B.O., and chive cream chese.
Post any other items you think Bobo's landlord will need here.
Last edited by Hamatron5000 (2009-08-23 21:04:58)
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#2 2009-08-23 20:57:41
ITEM 2 - HAZ MAT SUIT
Ragman residue is just as gross as Ragman stench. (Ragman residue being a mixture of tears, stale bagel crumbs, and lost hair).
Scientists are still conducting tests to determine whether or not Ragman residue is radioactive. Just to be safe, Bobo's landlord will probably want to suit up:
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#3 2009-08-23 21:00:13
ITEM 3 - Scraper
He'll probably want a paint scraper to scrape down the thousands of Sweet Brucey pictures all over the walls.
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#4 2009-08-23 21:01:45
Item 4 - Dump Truck1993FordLTS900015YardDumpTruck(P2077-78)/1993%20Ford%20LTS9000%2015%27%20Dump%20(P2078),%20%20left%20front%20view%20(up)3.jpg)
Because no man can carry away that many bagel bags, fast food wrappers, and pizza boxes with his bare hands.
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#5 2009-08-23 21:06:48
Item 5 - Cart to carry away the light he left on for the Cat Lady. The Ragman will now leave a scented candle on in his new bathroom office at home for the Cat Lady (also helpful for getting rid of Ragman stench)
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#6 2009-08-23 21:07:03
Let's not forget: the Cat Lady also spent a lot of time there!!..If the office looks anything like the red BFI dumpster she drives, they may have to gut the place and start over!!
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#7 2009-08-23 21:08:02
Item 6 - Heavy pair of winter gloves to take down Bobo's sign, which God has apparently turned freezing ice cold, too cold to touch.
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#8 2009-08-23 21:12:02
ITEM 7 - Bulldozer
You make a good point, Slagis, might be faster and cheaper to just bulldoze the joint and start over from scratch, given the pervasive Ragman stench and Cat Lady stench that has settled into the place.
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#9 2009-08-23 21:26:16
Item 8 - Chemical Sprayer
Because the caustic chemicals you need to clean up Ragman residue and Ragman stench are so strong they shouldn't be touched with the human hand.
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#10 2009-08-23 21:41:17
Breaking Up News!
The EPA has declared BoBo Central a Superfund Site after soil tests - conducted during the townwide computer audit - reveal toxic residue has leached into abutting properties. Film at 11.
Last edited by billw (2009-08-24 00:52:30)
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#11 2009-08-23 21:45:35
Really? Damn, and I was hoping we could take up a collection and rent it out after the landlord cleans it up just to piss Bobo off. Rent it and put up a big sign that says "Truthblogger Headquarters - No Bobos Allowed!"
Last edited by Hamatron5000 (2009-08-23 21:46:42)
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#12 2009-08-23 21:47:59
Wait, wait! We should rent Bobo's office and turn it into a small lending library! Holy Shit, now you know that would piss him off!
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#13 2009-08-23 21:51:56
Hamatron: Great idea ! A Mini-Spinney !!
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#14 2009-08-24 14:23:03
Oh no, we should rent it and put up a big sign tha says "Power Elite Campaign Headquarters".
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#15 2009-08-24 23:02:01
The hairdresser of a former employee of The Observer has leaked that Slager's office knickname was initially "Sir Lancelot" in recognition of his phony "Suit of White Armor" posture,but that after a very short time in tight quarters the title changed to "Sir Fartsalot".
In addition to tipping off the poor folks assigned to cleaning the office, this recently obtained information explains why our "bugging" operation has been so ineffective . We 've had a key to his office, so continuity has been no problem . but when you listen to the tapes it sound as if people are just ripping up sheets!
This guy is going to give bagels a bad name!
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#16 2009-08-25 08:05:28
Dick Wheeler is the MAN!!
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