#1 2009-08-21 11:42:55
Dear Gov. of California,
Just in the unlikely case that you pick up a rag this week, don't worry, your missus is just fine. The editor of the paper is just a dumbass.
Dear Bobo,
Let me help you out.
First, let's take a look at what you wrote in your Gov. 101 section this week:
"Interim Police Chief Rick Stanley told selectmen that the police honor guard participated in the funeral of Maria Shriver in Hyannis last week. Stanley called it quite an accomplishment, as Wareham was one of the few towns invited to send an honor guard."
OK Bobo, please start pouring some jeer juice on your stupid head.
Here is Eunice Kennedy Shriver, Sister of Legendary U.S. President John F. Kennedy, Sister of Sens. Robert and Ted Kennedy, and Founder of the Special Olympics:
Sadly, Mrs. Kennedy Shriver recently passed away at age 88, but lived a long and accomplished life and was a legendary national figure in her own right.
Bobo, you numbnut, here is Mrs. Kennedy Shriver's daughter, television news reporter Maria Shriver, who is alive and kickin, unlike you reported, because you have a rock in your head where your brain should be:
On a side note, here is Maria Shriver's husband, Arnold Schwarzennegger aka the Terminator:
And finally, Bobo, you dumbass, here is Maria Shriver's husband when he is not wearing his synthetic flesh suit:
Bobo, you knucklehead, you should probably write a retraction before Maria's husband gives you a wedgie with his mighty Austrian world body championship forearms.
But all kidding aside, Bobo, you have got to be the most idiotic, incompetent reporter this world has ever seen. You rip the police department to shreds every week (at Sweet Brucey's behest), and the one time you put something good about them, you screw it up royally. You offend the police officers who were given this great honor to help honor an important figure in U.S. history. You offend a legendary national political family that lives in the area. And it probably isn't the best first impression for you to make on the new police chief.
How do you call yourself the best ace reporter around and you didn't even know the difference between Eunice and Maria Shriver?
Bobo, you are by far, a collossal embarrassment to yourself, to this town, and to the journalism profession.
Last edited by Hamatron5000 (2009-08-21 11:43:37)
Offline
#2 2009-08-21 11:49:34
We love you, Ham...
Offline
#3 2009-08-21 11:58:33
Ham,
Maybe you could replace Paul Shooter at Observer Media...at least he should offer you a job to proof read his blog board and weekly bird cage liner.
Offline
#4 2009-08-21 12:04:35
Thanks Searay, but I only accept payment in cash, not lightbulbs like the Cat Lady gets.
I hope this was a proofreading mistake on Bobo's part, but I have a feeling this was more of a stupidity/not knowing well known facts mistake.
All I know is, he says he works 80 hours a week and this is what we get? Eating bagels for 79 hours and giving your paper the glance over for an hour doesn't count as 80 hours a week, Bobo.
Offline
#5 2009-08-21 12:10:43
Ham,
If Slager has to leave his chair for anything, it's to answer the door and get the pizza delivery. Other than that, he is perched on his chair, sauce dripping down his chin, reading our site for news updates. Confidentially, Eunice is harder to spell than Maria, so he just got lazy!
I vote Ham as new Media relations rep for the Town of Wareham.
Offline
#6 2009-08-21 13:19:23
The Wareham Police Department's Color Guard Unit were invited there and their job was to escort the Special Olympics Torch. I may be wrong, but I believe they were the only color guard unit there. I know I am proud of them, for the Special Olympics was near and dear to the heart of Eunice Kennedy Schriver.
Last edited by bornofwareham (2009-08-21 13:20:01)
Offline
#7 2009-08-21 13:30:06
It would have been nice if Bobo had pulled his head out of Sweet Brucey's ass for two minutes to do a full length article on this, but you can't expect much from the world's laziest and most incompetent reporter. Still, he could have at least gotten the blurb right. Moron.
Offline
#8 2009-08-21 13:37:08
Breaking news!......Rip Dinkle here....
Earlier today, a glass piece was inserted in Sweet Brucey's belly button. I spoke with the anonymous doctor who informed me the glass piece was necessary so that Bobo could see since he had his up Sweet Brucey's ass most of the time. The surgery went well, and after immediate insertion of his head, Bobo was heard exclaiming, " I can see clearly"
Rip Dinkle...over and out...
Offline
#9 2009-08-21 13:38:22
All this during the audit of town computers?
Offline
#10 2009-08-21 14:50:51
Thank goodness for Rip Dinkle!
Offline
#11 2009-08-21 15:05:35
Oh right, I forgot.
BREAKING NEWS: Bobo's staggering incompetence offends the Kennedys, the Shrivers, the Greatest Action Film Star of All Time, the Wareham Police Department, and the Journalism profession in general, all during a town wide computer audit.
Offline
#12 2009-08-21 15:10:26
Larry,
You might be on to something. I can picture him sitting there in his Barracuda, eating a bagel, scratching his head, a puzzled look on his face, "How do you spell her name? U-ness? Youness? Oh forget it, this is too hard! My brain hurts! I'll just type in Maria, the power elite bastards will never notice!"
Offline
#13 2009-08-21 23:24:35
Auto-edited on 2020-08-11 to update URLs
Offline
#14 2009-08-22 07:02:12
BO BO YOU ARE TRULEY A DUMB ASS.
Offline
#15 2009-08-22 09:26:12
Did he really put that in his print edition... the one he can't magically change electronically without an apology?
Offline
#16 2009-08-22 09:34:41
Indeed he did, Neighbor. Bobo should put on a dunce cap and drive around to every distributor, cross out "Maria" with pen and write in "Eunice" in each copy, and then under that he should hand write a little note that says "I am Bobo and I am sorry for being a dumbass."
Offline
#17 2009-08-22 09:40:29
Ham,
Your letter to Gov. Arrrnold made my day. Well done.
And he claims to also be the "editor".
Offline
#18 2009-08-22 10:05:57
Hamatron5000 wrote:
Indeed he did, Neighbor. Bobo should put on a dunce cap and drive around to every distributor, cross out "Maria" with pen and write in "Eunice" in each copy, and then under that he should hand write a little note that says "I am Bobo and I am sorry for being a dumbass."
I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem since 98% of the papers are probably still on the shelf.
Offline
#19 2009-08-22 11:01:38
I THOUGHT HE REACHED OVER 10,000 READERS LOL
Offline
#20 2009-08-26 09:42:23
Bobo, since I figure the Wareham police honor guard will be called on to help honor the late senior Senator of MA, help me help you.
It was Teddy that passed away. Not Freddy. Not Neddy. Teddy. Be sure to get it right this time.
And be sure to print a retraction about your blunder with Maria. Remember, Ahhh-nold is probably going to be rolling back into the area soon to pay his respects to his late Uncle-in-Law. Retract, or risk a powerful Austrian bodybuilder wedgie from Ahhh-nold for printing that his alive and well wife had passed.
Last edited by Hamatron5000 (2009-08-26 10:38:41)
Offline
#21 2009-08-28 13:06:25
BREAKING NEWS: BOBO PRINTS LAME CORRECTION!
"Due to a reporter error in Gov. 101 in last week's edition of the Ragserver, we inadvertently stated that Maria Shriver had recently died."
Gee whiz, Bobo. Which reporter made that error? Whoever he is, you should fire his bagel chomping butt right away. You can't allow that kind of incompetence at a top notch organization like Ragserver Multi-Mega Media.
"Of course we meant Eunice Kennedy Shriver. The error was made late Wednesday evening as deadline approached and our copy editor had already ended her shift."
OK, Bobo. Now that you are office-less, where do you meet with the "vast team" of Rag staffers now? Do you have them come to your house, and you stand on the toilet while they all sit in the tub and proofread your garbage paper or what? How does that work now that you are office-less?
"We wish to apologize to Ms. Shriver and to members of her family for our error. We especially would like to apologize to Ms. Shriver's husband Arnold Schwarzenegger. We are really, really, really sorry."
That's nice, Bobo, but let's be honest. To people like Maria Shriver and Ahh-nold, you're a pimple on the ass of humanity. They have no clue who you are. They've never heard of you or stupid paper. They no doubt never heard of your blunder. They probably wouldn't even bother to complain to a low level stooge like yourself if they had heard about it. THE REAL APOLOGY that you owe, that you forgot to give, was to the WAREHAM POLICE DEPARTMENT. You rip them to shreds week after week, year after year, and the one time you write something good about them, you botch it, and then don't even offer the department an apology.
Last edited by Hamatron5000 (2009-08-28 13:21:54)
Offline
#22 2009-08-28 13:20:57
BREAKING NEWS: BOBO JEERS HIMSELF!
"JEER - KILLING ARNOLD'S WIFE - It appears we gave Arnold a raw deal last week, and no one gives Arnold a raw deal."
"The Ragserver, through a non-so funny comedy of errors..."
Bobo, you meant "not-so-funny." Keep working with your spelling tutors from Sesame Street.
...inadvertently reported in Gov. 101 last week that Maria Shriver (wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger), and not Eunice Shriver, recently passed away."
"The blame for that rests squarely on the shoulders of Ragserver Publisher Robert Slager, who had a brain cramp right on deadline."
Fire that guy! He's had a brain cramp on deadline every week for over three years!
"Copy editor Holly Harootunian never read Gov. 101. It was written after she was off duty and sound asleep."
That is noble of you to take responsibility for your incompetence, Bobo. I'll give you that. However, I restate my curiousity about how rag staff meetings are held now that you are office-less. Who gets the bowl and who stands in the bath tub? And just curious, you admit in this jeer that the error was all yours, but in your correction, you write "we" this and "we" that. What's up with that? That sounds like you're trying to shift blame for an obvious Bobo blunder. Bobo, when you make a mistake, say "I am sorry" not "we are sorry." Is taking responsibility really that hard for you?
"We hate making silly mistakes, even when they are fatigue driven."
You guys know he's an overworked diabetic, right?
"We especially hate them when they involve the wife of a man who could snap us all in half with his pinkie. And for the record, Hercules in New York was the finest film ever made."
Dumbass, you pissed him off again. He didn't want people to know about that movie. He called himself Arnold Strong in that one. Everyone knows the finest Arnie film ever made is a toss-up between Terminator 2 and True Lies. And where is the apology to the police department? The little cheer for them you put doesn't cut it. You owe them an apology.
Last edited by Hamatron5000 (2009-08-28 13:26:00)
Offline
