#1 2009-06-18 21:32:43
So I'm a little bored here on a rainy Tuesday night, and I noticed that slager likes to write about people who are retiring "in the middle of the computer audit blahblahblah", as opposed to people who are retiring "to take a better job in a decent town where they're respected". The complete lack of a connection to the "audit" got me thinking....what other absolutely ridiculous things can we "connect" these retirements to? So far, I've come up with the ones below, but I'm sure we can have some fun with this
- Pizzolato retired in the middle of a global war on terror, and while she did not put a reason for her resignation, she did not respond when asked if she is, indeed, a terrorist"
- Chief Joyce gave his resignation notice after the repeal of prohibition, prompting questions from this reporter about ihs post-retirement intentions
- Pizzolato conspicuously retired after the fall of the Roman empire, leading many to wonder just how she feels about Italian food
- Chief Joyce's retirement occured shortly before President Obama introduced his plan for healthcare reform but he refused to comment on this reporter's inquiry into connections he might have with the American Medical Association
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#2 2009-06-18 22:07:20
Pizzalato resigns from the Wareham library. She would not comment on why but this reporter suspects it is to bring the evil message of the library lobby to the rest of the country.(Oooooh I hate her I hate her I hate her whaaaaa!!!!
I"m takin my pen and going home.)
Disclaimer.... This is real news I REPEAT REAL NEWS. This in no way represents my opinion or the fact that I am slowly going insane.
Love always Bob.
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#3 2009-06-18 22:36:40
Susan Pizzalato resigned from the Wareham Free Library on the same day Bostonians were celebrating Bunker Hill Day. When called at the Library from my office in Buzzards Bay, she denied knowing anything about the library lobby voting to take the holiday away from hard working Bostonians.
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#4 2009-06-18 22:38:29
News Flash Andrea Smith Resigns from the Observer. She has stated it is to spend time with her family but sources say she had stopped by the Observer offices one day last week to find its owner having the name "SWEET BRUCIE" tatooed to his ass. She informed the source that she was so horrified by the sight that she had no choice but to resign immediately. This reporter has offered to pay for her counciling services. She is gonna need it.
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#5 2009-06-18 22:49:34
Susan Pizzalato resigned from the library on the same day Andrea resigned from her position at the rag. Susan denied having information about the library lobby's complaints of Andrea's bob and weave tatics.
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#6 2009-06-18 22:51:06
GWB wrote:
News Flash Andrea Smith Resigns from the Observer. She has stated it is to spend time with her family but sources say she had stopped by the Observer offices one day last week to find its owner having the name "SWEET BRUCIE" tatooed to his ass. She informed the source that she was so horrified by the sight that she had no choice but to resign immediately. This reporter has offered to pay for her counciling services. She is gonna need it.
Hey, that was funny!
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#7 2009-06-18 22:54:16
Tom Joyce has announced his retirement as police chief in Wareham. This came amid a Town wide Computer Audit but Shortly before the price of regular unleaded gasoline went up 5 cents a gallon at Joe's Gas. Chairman Savengneau has stated the BOS has hired a special investegator to see if this was an attempt by Mr. Joyce to manipulate the price of crude oil on the world market. Mr. Savengneau was quoted as saying" I don't care how much this costs. This complaint was brought to me by a concerned voter that thinks this has happend and since this voter is one of my 2 remaining supporters. I owe it to him to look into it."
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#8 2009-06-18 23:06:27
Susan Pizzalato resigned from the library amid the news that Sweet Brucie owed $181,000.00 in back taxes. When questioned by this reporter at her job at the library, she replied "no comment."
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