People who don’t like the outcome of Town Meeting will never be able to call a do-over

That's right BOS!  Back to the drawing board for the Nitrogen By Law and Personnel Plan.  At least you got to fuck with the Chief because of it.

I will never reveal details of an open investigation to a suspect

Jesus Christ!  Isn't this a "cold case" file by now?  What's it been 3-4 years now?!  What "department" is spending money for all these years on a pair of broken dolls?  Oh yeah, I see you're not giving the "truth-bloggers" any more attention.

I will never remember the name of that naked guy from the Sex and the City movie as easily as my wife can.

I'm willing to bet you know his first and last name, and the name of the actor that played him.