To prevent future selectmen from leaving early or to use the now popular catchphrase "Pulling a Mike," I've devised the following questionnaire.  All residents considering a run for selectman must answer the following questions:


QUESTIONNAIRE FOR POTENTIAL SELECTMAN CANDIDATES

Thank you for considering a run for a three year term on the board of selectman, which as you know, is a term that will last three years.  Before you submit your papers and become a candidate for a three year term on this board, please answer these questions.

1.)  Are you aware that the term you are seeking requires a three year commitment on your part?



2.)  Because seriously, three years is a really long time.  Are you sure you want to sign up for something that's going to require you to serve the town for three years?


3.)  Did we mention that if elected, you will be making a promise to serve the town for three years?



4.)  O.K., let's just make sure you understand.  You need a little visual representation here.  Put up your hand.  Now put down your thumb and pinky finger.  See those remaining fingers?  Each one represents a year that you will have to sit on the board of selectman if you are elected.  That's a lot of fingers, isn't it?




5.)  1 - 2 - 3, it's not as easy as ABC.



6.)  If you think about it, one year is a really long time.  Two years is an even longer time.  Three years is an even longer time than that.  That's a lot of years.  Are you sure you're up for this?




7.)  We're talking the number three year.  Numerically, it's a "3."  It kind of looks like two backwards letter C's on top of one another.


8.)  You're going to stay for the whole three years, right?




9.)  Because you know, if you quit early and not in time for the general election, it will cost the town a lot of money to hold a special election and you'll be known throughout the land as a quitter.



10.)  First, thou shalt run for selectman.  Then, thou shalt count to three.  No more, no less.  Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three.  Four thou shalt not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three.  Five is right out.