1. driving while stupid
2.  driving under the influence of slager
3.  driving without a leather jacket
4.  transporting formally free newspaper
5.  driving with an open rag
6.  failure to have any common sense
7.  assault & battery on his ego
8.  attempted murder on any diginity he had left.
9.  indecent exposure......any time he's out, it's indecent.
10.  injury to police officer --think of poor guy who had to frisk him
11.  failure to state:  Do you know who I am?
12.  impersonating a republician
13.  impersonating a selectman
14.  impersonating a person
15.  conspiring with a rag