BREAKING NEWS:  The fire alarm culprit has been revealed!  Surveillance footage shows this power elite trained spider clutching not a nickel, not a dime, but an entire ill-gotten photocopier quarter, paid to him in exchange for spinning a web in a fire alarm sensor, thus creating the distraction necessary for a reserve supply of 50 power elite bastards hiding in the bushes behind the high school to spring into action.




Yes, be on the look out for this nefarious culprit.  Reports indicate the suspect is hairy, has eight legs, and 10,000 eyes.  We can only hope that his ill-gotten photocopier quarter can be confiscated and put to good use.